If you were invited to speak in front of a hundred people, one side of you might become quite excited. It may react with the anticipated thrill of sharing a message and making an impact that brings new opportunities.
The other side of you might react in complete fear. It could imagine freezing on stage, sweat pouring down your face as words logjam in your mouth and that you could begin to sound ridiculous.
You now have a polarity creating conflict. One side is running toward the opportunity and the other side is racing away from it.
We could say you are either going to be scared or excited.
Your self-image wants to see you as a powerful orator capable of delivering impact and really making a difference, but your insecure side only sees the opportunity to blow up in front of 100 people.
Each side may even begin to attack the other. Fear can go into defense. “We aren’t prepared. We would need practice with 10 people. We don’t really even know what we would say.” and on and on.
Excitement side can move into humiliation and self-abuse. “What is wrong with me?” “I need to fix this flaw!” “Who can help me kill this fear?”
Either you will jump onto the side or excitement OR fear will win.
This is one possibility, and there is another.
Instead of saying its Fear OR Excitement, you could say, its Fear AND Excitement.
Here is how it happens.
Excitement accepts that part of the self is Fear. Fear is reasonable and necessary in alerting us to potential danger. Excitement can help ease Fear’s perspective by dealing with its specific concerns.
In Fear’s defensive reaction, it really is worried about being unprepared and looking ridiculous. Excitement could then ease this concern by agreeing to prepare and practice.
Excitement may even concede to smaller groups before stepping onto a larger stage. Giving Fear some positive experiences would definitely deescalate Fear’s worries.
By Fear agreeing that Excitement’s desire to share and impact is important, it can set aside its veto power. It can agree to step out of its comfort boundary and dip its toes into a new experience.
Together they can accept the spectrum of their perspectives and find a common ground that serves to support them both. They can build their relationship and their mutual trust.
Fear can raise its self-image by Excitement ceasing to seek ways to kill it. Literally Fear can begin to feel safe.
One word … AND. Its all that is needed. It says to the polarity that even though we see through polar perspectives, we are still unified because the “whole” contains everything.
AND ends the battle. AND unifies. AND includes. AND makes us whole. AND brings peace.
All we need is AND .. la la la la la.
We are alive at a really fun time in human evolution. We are waking up to the awareness that we are both spirit and body, merged and creating in three-dimensional reality.
Instead of meandering along in our treadmill like looping existences, we now watch our little i human behaviors empowering our egos to become self aware. In other words, our little i personas get to watch the wild swings of our polarity design and see how “or” mentality creates suffering.
With the conversion to “and” mentality we immediately end internal conflict and begin evolving to a whole new phase of human evolution. This is a key perspective in the FLOWLENS where we shift from stress to flow.
Have a beautiful, bountiful and blissful day!
Angela .. yours in truth and spirit